I’m sure that all my friends reading this right now are laughing their asses off. Truth is, writing this post on how to stay positive does feel a little bit hypocritical of me. As a depressed person, who’s been fighting against this for years, I couldn’t relate less to all those smiling, happy people that you can see everywhere around you. I have decided, however, to change that. If you’re reading this, then you probably got here by google-ing the title or searching for some remedies. Point is, you’re as desperate as I’ve always been.
You see, after having cried, complained and struggled for over a decade, I came to the conclusion that this is not all chemical, but also self-induced. How can I be less miserable when all I do is roll in my gutter like a silly pig? I can’t say I’ve done incredible progress, that all my problems are now solved and everything is wonderful, but I can write a few tips on how to improve your life.
The past is in the past
Yeah, alright. You’ve done some bad things a while ago. Who hasn’t? You went home with the wrong guy, you cheated, you broke your promises, you let down your friends. These might have not seemed like such a big deal at the moment, but the guilt is finally finding you-and it’s everything but pleasant. You have amazing memories, you constantly think about your ex or simply about how easy life used to be? It’s all over-deal with it! Dwelling in the past will only make you feel miserable, no matter if you’re clinging to great memories or you seem to have developed some kind of Stockholm Syndrome. While you’re busy reliving your past, you’re running out of present. Deal with guilt by talking to the ones towards you feel it. Cheated? Call your ex and tell him you’re sorry. Let down your friend? Asked them to hang out and buy them dinner. I am not saying you should try to bribe them, but doing something nice can show them you are truly sorry.
No more mister nice guy
You’re a very kind and friendly person, always there for the others, always ready to listen. Some people get paid $200 for what seem to be endless hours of people complaining and talking about their own problems. What’s more, if you try to give them a piece of advice, you will seem a bastard who’s incapable of feeling something for anyone else but him or herself. People don’t want advice. They want to complain and feel miserable and drag others in their misery as well. Don’t be afraid to step up! They are simply draining you of energy and positive thoughts. After all, how can you even think of anything else, when all you hear is how awful this life is?
Perfectionism is not always the answer
“No matter what you do, there’s someone who does it better”. Sounds familiar? This is one of the facts you should simply accept. Moreover, you should not, by any means, let this bring you down! Instead, keep trying to be the best-just don’t get all upset thinking there’s no point in it. After all, someone HAS to be the best at something-and who says that can’t be you?
If you had a penny for every time you heard/read this, you’d have a bag of coins to beat the crap out of me with. Let’s settle this: I am not saying you are a strong, confident woman, who is beautiful, no matter what society says. I’m not saying you should procrastinate because “you’re stupid, what’s the point of trying to learn anyway”. But there are certain things you need to come at peace with. Try to change yourself in order to please yourself, but don’t overdo it. And do not, by any means, hate yourself for not being like that!
“You need to chill out!” Yes, you might need that, especially if every single thing affects you. Have an important exam tomorrow? Try to study one thing at a time. Do you hate your job? Quit and follow your passions. What I’m trying to say is that stress is mostly self-induced. Instead of worrying and crying, you could drink a cup of tea, clear your mind for a few minutes and find a way to solve the problem.
Stop faking it
“Sticking feathers up your butt won’t make you a chicken.” Strolling with a huge smile on your face won’t make you happy. Trust me, I’ve been this smiling little thing ever since I can remember, although I was falling apart on the inside. But hey, nobody needed to know that, right? I’m not trying to get you to complain and annoy everybody. But if you’re not happy, don’t try to seem, hoping this will change anything. Those who care about you will know it’s fake, and those who don’t won’t care whether you’re laughing or crying.
A few days ago, my best friend sent me a picture. I have decided to share it here because, well, it sums up how this positive thing should work. Always keep an eye on the bright side! [And also because I’m a pervert and I’m crazy for puns and dirty jokes.]