If you’re a new-wave feminist and you know it shut the heck up

I wish I had more middle fingers to wave at new-wave feminists. I also wish I were an octopus, so I could slap some common sense into these ignorant, self-centered beings.

When did feminism become something bad? When these spoiled teenagers appeared and started complaining about being oppressed and labeled and whatnot.

Meanwhile, in some countries

  • Women can’t go out, unless accompanied by a man;
  • Women are abused and treated like objects because they are not even considered human beings;
  • Women have no right to education;
  • Women are being sold into marriage while they are still children to men who are in their 30s or 40s;
  • Women are killed if they try to defend themselves.

Meanwhile, in the rest of the world

  • Catcalling;
  • Eye-raping;
  • Cis white male privilege oppression;
  • Wage gap;
  • Women running naked in order to demonstrate…well…something.

I don’t think words harsh enough even exist for how I feel towards these simple minded, terrible creatures, who make the world a worse place as much as they can. Instead of focusing on women who have real problems, we are all crying and cheering for stupid teenage girls who post their sorrows on Tumblr. Oh, no, that man called me beautiful! He should be jailed for life! FEMINISM! BARE BREASTS!

Just to make this clear. I do get catcalled. I do get compliments from random people on the street. It does bother me. But hey, that’s the world being uneducated, not the male patriarchist rapist oppressive society trying to hurt me. Please, little girls. Go back to yelling at your parents for not getting you those new shiny phones and leave adults deal with adult problems.

P.S.: “If I was drunk and I said yes, it didn’t mean I meant yes, he raped me!”

If you were drunk, it was your goddamn fault. Deal with the consequences of your actions and stop being a stupid bitch. Nobody forced you to drink. Nobody shoved alcohol down your throat. It’s all your fault and it’s all your responsibility.

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10 Things I Learned This Summer

  • Oreos are great and I don’t want to stop eating them. Not even when I reached the 3rd pack and my whole being feels like throwing up. NEVER!!!

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  • I’m not always right and others are not always wrong.

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  • You can fight an addiction with another addiction. Goodbye Facebook, welcome Twitter and OkCupid! (Looking around on OkCupid. It’s usually like this.)

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  • You dated a guy for two weeks now? Get ready for everyone around you to lose their sh*t and start planning your wedding!

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  • American Dad is the best show ever.

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  • Letting go is awesome. I wish I had more friends so I could shoo them away.

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  • No matter how big a bitch you are, someone is willing to put up with your sh*t.

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  • No matter how great a friend you are, people will still let you down.

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  • The last minute makes you incredibly creative. Such as now, when I need to get to the airport and I’m trying to find matching gifs instead.

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What Your Shoes Choice Says About You

Believe it or not, I’m back (or at least trying to be). A bit positive, a bit optimistic, a bit of a pain in the arse, but at least I’m back! Long story short: I’m moving. Finally. Looking forward to having free time and alone time and Mary time and a good time!

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Moving on to relevant things:

What your shoes choice says about you

  • Flats: I have no sense of style or elegance. (Do I really have to pick the ugliest shoes?)

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  • Sneakers: I’m laid back and I care more about my comfort than about others’ opinion.

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  • Sport shoes: I want people to think I’m running, but I’m not. (Yes. Yes I do.)

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  • Platform pumps: I have no sense of style or elegance and I want people to think I’m cool. Which I’m not. (I don’t care if they are Loubotins or not.)

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  • Platform wedge: I’m a high-school fresher and I want others to think I’m cool.

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  • 2-5cm heels: I like being taller than I actually am, my feet look good in these and they are actually quite comfy.

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  • 5-10cm heels: my boyfriend is (very) tall. (If someone ever finds this pair, please ask for my address and deliver them asap.)

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  • 10-15cm heels: I want people to think I’m cool and I walk like a newborn calf.

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  • 20cm heels: I’m a porn star. (These boots are extremely cool. And don’t ever google “pornstar shoes”. Ever. Ever.)

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  • 20+cm heels: I belong in a circus. (You do, Gaga. You do.)

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More opinions about what I find acceptable and what I want to kill myself with (the last pair should do) soon. Off to the airport!

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Traveller Diaries, Entry #1, Timișoara

It’s been a lot longer than I expected since when I returned from my trip, safe and sound. I kept postponing this post, kept saying I need to gather my thoughts, I need to study for my finals, I need to do this and that. It’s been so long since I have last written anything, I don’t even know how to do it anymore.

Timișoara (German: Temeswar) is the capital city of Timiș Country in western Romania. One of the largest Romanian cities, with a population of 319,279 inhabitants (the third most populous city in the country, as of 2011),and considered the informal capital city of the historical region of Banat, Timișoara is the main social, economic and cultural center in the western part of Romania.”

Or so Wikipedia says. Many thanks to my friend, who has proved to be an amazing guide and who took the time to take me all around the city, whichever place I liked, and pampered me for three days. 🙂

Weather ★☆☆☆☆

It rained for every single day of my trip. It would usually stop in the late afternoon, though, when it was time for me to go back to the hotel, dizzy and jet-legged.

Landscape ★★☆☆☆

As I have been told, I couldn’t have chosen a worse moment for my trip, as everything was under construction and pretty much all I saw, behind the blurry lenses of my glasses, was a huge site.

Museums/Cultural locations/Architecture ★★★☆☆

I decided it was better if I put all three under the same heading, as I only saw one museum, due to the fact that the others were closed/gone. As for the cultural locations and architecture, I caught a glimpse of the old-style houses when the rain stopped and I was able to look up. As far as this was concerned, it was truly disappointing, as I was really excited when I left home.

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Food and Pubs ★★★★☆

KFC and McDonald’s are the same all over the world. The only “local” cuisine I tried was at Dinar Restaurant, a place I appreciated mostly for its old-times looks. I did not, however, miss a single chance to drink coffee in one of its many pubs.

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All the photos are taken from the almighty internet, as the bad weather did not make me want to take any pictures in particular. In spite of the weather and the site-like aspect of the city, I couldn’t say I am not eager to visit it again (hopefully during summer and after the workers have done their job).

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[How to] stay positive! (feat. Danny The Dandelion)

1656082_10152170434432381_679472277_nI’m sure that all my friends reading this right now are laughing their asses off. Truth is, writing this post on how to stay positive does feel a little bit hypocritical of me. As a depressed person, who’s been fighting against this for years, I couldn’t relate less to all those smiling, happy people that you can see everywhere around you. I have decided, however, to change that. If you’re reading this, then you probably got here by google-ing the title or searching for some remedies. Point is, you’re as desperate as I’ve always been.

You see, after having cried, complained and struggled for over a decade, I came to the conclusion that this is not all chemical, but also self-induced. How can I be less miserable when all I do is roll in my gutter like a silly pig? I can’t say I’ve done incredible progress, that all my problems are now solved and everything is wonderful, but I can write a few tips on how to improve your life.

The past is in the past

Yeah, alright. You’ve done some bad things a while ago. Who hasn’t? You went home with the wrong guy, you cheated, you broke your promises, you let down your friends. These might have not seemed like such a big deal at the moment, but the guilt is finally finding you-and it’s everything but pleasant. You have amazing memories, you constantly think about your ex or simply about how easy life used to be? It’s all over-deal with it! Dwelling in the past will only make you feel miserable, no matter if you’re clinging to great memories or you seem to have developed some kind of Stockholm Syndrome. While you’re busy reliving your past, you’re running out of present. Deal with guilt by talking to the ones towards you feel it. Cheated? Call your ex and tell him you’re sorry. Let down your friend? Asked them to hang out and buy them dinner. I am not saying you should try to bribe them, but doing something nice can show them you are truly sorry.

No more mister nice guy

You’re a very kind and friendly person, always there for the others, always ready to listen. Some people get paid $200 for what seem to be endless hours of people complaining and talking about their own problems. What’s more, if you try to give them a piece of advice, you will seem a bastard who’s incapable of feeling something for anyone else but him or herself. People don’t want advice. They want to complain and feel miserable and drag others in their misery as well. Don’t be afraid to step up! They are simply draining you of energy and positive thoughts. After all, how can you even think of anything else, when all you hear is how awful this life is?

Perfectionism is not always the answer

“No matter what you do, there’s someone who does it better”. Sounds familiar? This is one of the facts you should simply accept. Moreover, you should not, by any means, let this bring you down! Instead, keep trying to be the best-just don’t get all upset thinking there’s no point in it. After all, someone HAS to be the best at something-and who says that can’t be you?

Accept yourself

If you had a penny for every time you heard/read this, you’d have a bag of coins to beat the crap out of me with. Let’s settle this: I am not saying you are a strong, confident woman, who is beautiful, no matter what society says. I’m not saying you should procrastinate because “you’re stupid, what’s the point of trying to learn anyway”. But there are certain things you need to come at peace with. Try to change yourself in order to please yourself, but don’t overdo it. And do not, by any means, hate yourself for not being like that!

Stress less

“You need to chill out!” Yes, you might need that, especially if every single thing affects you. Have an important exam tomorrow? Try to study one thing at a time. Do you hate your job? Quit and follow your passions. What I’m trying to say is that stress is mostly self-induced. Instead of worrying and crying, you could drink a cup of tea, clear your mind for a few minutes and find a way to solve the problem.

Stop faking it

“Sticking feathers up your butt won’t make you a chicken.” Strolling with a huge smile on your face won’t make you happy. Trust me, I’ve been this smiling little thing ever since I can remember, although I was falling apart on the inside. But hey, nobody needed to know that, right? I’m not trying to get you to complain and annoy everybody. But if you’re not happy, don’t try to seem, hoping this will change anything. Those who care about you will know it’s fake, and those who don’t won’t care whether you’re laughing or crying.

A few days ago, my best friend sent me a picture. I have decided to share it here because, well, it sums up how this positive thing should work. Always keep an eye on the bright side! [And also because I’m a pervert and I’m crazy for puns and dirty jokes.]

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What’s with our constant need for likes and approval?

You wake up, struggle to get out of bed, go to the mirror and check yourself out. Messy hair, injected eyes, pale skin. “Horrible”. Nothing you can’t fix without a touch of make-up, is it? You can’t go out without applying a bit of mascara and some lip-gloss, even if it’s just to take out the trash or visit your grandparents. You need to be “beautiful”. What can happen if you go out all natural? You’ll be rejected. Simple as that.

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We live in a society where “beauty” means big breasts, flawless face, long, flowing hair, self-induced starvation. The shorter the dress, the higher the heels, the more “beautiful” a girl thinks she is. All we care about is what others think of us. How they see us. We want them to like us, because we cannot like ourselves. No matter what people say, a girl will never be happy with her looks. She will always seek constant attention. Why? Because she’s afraid of being alone. Of not being accepted by people.

It’s really not just make-up. All we do seems to go round this one idea: people need to like me! Are we all really that desperate and lonely? When the heck did we all get so shallow? When I slept over at my ex’s place, I woke up at 5 a.m., brushed my teeth, put on make-up and went to bed again, so that when he would wake up, I would look perfect. Yes, gentleman, I’m afraid it has come to that!

 

What do we really fear, though? That our eyes won’t look bright enough? That our lips are not that kissable? That one of our freckles is showing? We fear being alone. And this is how we get to making the stupidest decisions, hanging out with the wrong people and pretending we’re someone we’re not. Personally, I’ve had my fair share of criticism and hate. Hell, I’m still getting plenty of it! And it’s all because I have this terrible condition that makes it impossible for me to actually belong to a group. It’s a terrible thing very people suffer of, called honesty. I’m afraid you can’t cure it.

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Pretending in order to be accepted it’s like putting out to be loved: not gonna happen!

P.S.: When I came up with the title, I was thinking about Facebook likes, even though I didn’t mention them in this article. Sorry, my bad.

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Working – now demeaning!

My faith in humanity is fading once again. During an English class, our teacher gave us some information on the “Work and Travel” program, as some of the students had asked about it. The results were pretty much unexpected, at least as I was concerned. Today, I found out a new, very important thing:

Work is demeaning.

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A few months ago, I was asked by a friend who lives in Austria if the situation in Romania concerning jobs is that bad. I had to admit this is not entirely the government’s fault, as people do not want to work, and are happy to live off their children’s allowance or welfare. A lot of people here seem to find work somehow demeaning. As the teacher was listing the jobs you can get [waiter, cleaning tables, cleaning rooms, chef assistant and things like these], as well as calculating the payment, which to sum of them would add up to more than $1,400 a month, everybody was laughing, giggling and asking if he’s serious. At one point, one of them actually asked: “Don’t you have something which is not demeaning?”

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All in all, I think this led to a very important conclusion: young adults nowadays have no idea what money is and how to make it. They live off their parents’s wallets and find job opportunities not good enough for them. After all, traveling to the USA and cleaning dishes 6 hours/day for $1,400 a month is, indeed, something inconceivable.

Personally, I worked as some kind of a delivery girl for a summer, and it was one of my best experiences so far. My sole job was to stay at the bar near the pool, call the pizza place and place orders and then go get the pizzas to the pool [a distance of about 200m]. Of course, after the end of the program, I would stay with the rest of the team and do some cleaning: taking out the garbage, cleaning the pool margins, sweeping. My boyfriend at that time was very surprised when I told him about this 21 century slavery I had to do: “Oh, I could never do something like this… Your friends and relatives can see you!” Yeah, they can see me working-oh, no! Now everybody will now I am able to get a part-time job and stop nagging my parents for money!

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Dear international readers: now you know what is wrong with Romania, the young generation in particular.

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Why I gave up Facebook

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Everybody seems to agree that Facebook = life. Social life, online life, even sex life [we’ve all seen that pictures you’ve been posting!] Can you actually tell when the fun stops and addiction kicks in?

Why?

I had been using Facebook for years now, I believe I first created my profile in 2009, when it was still rather unpopular where I live. The only reason why I did it was to keep in touch with a friend I met abroad, as this seemed to be the only option. It slowly grew on me, and before I knew it, I was posting pictures, sharing songs and meeting people from all over the world. Due to various reasons, I kept deactivating and reactivating my account on a monthly basis. Whenever I was out with my friends, I would ignore them and used my phone. When I was in another city, instead of looking around, I would look at the screen. Shopping took twice as much, because I was also sending messages. Last year, I reached a point where I needed to see absolutely every single post in my news feed. I would spend hours scrolling, looking at pictures, occasionally blowing a little more air through my nose-the internet equivalent of real life laughter. The last thing I did before going to bed-checking Facebook. The First thing I did when I woke up-checking Facebook, scroll through news feed until I would reach the last photo I had seen. Sometimes this could take hours. And then it hit me: dude, looks like I have a problem! Four clicks away, my account was deactivated. Fortunately, traveling keeps me away from it for a while, so I feel the need to see what others are doing less often. Now, although I hadn’t been that obsessed with Facebook again, I would still waste a lot of time scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. Looking at pictures. Liking photos. Unfriending annoying people. When too much text showed up, I would skip it and move to the next post. Whenever I left home, even for a short time [e.g.: going to the supermarket or taking out the trash] I would instantly activate the Internet option on my phone. During the spring holiday [two weeks], I spent my days in front of the screen. I didn’t read, I didn’t study, I didn’t go out [and I made sure to close the shutters, so that no light would bother me]. Six days ago, when the holiday was finally over, I realized I needed to take action. So, I did. Four taps on my phone, and my account was deactivated once again. It didn’t feel nice. It didn’t feel bad. I just felt a rush of adrenaline. I was able to resist for two hours before experiencing classic drug withdrawal syndromes. I went through several phases, and I assume I’m still negotiating with myself: “Only for 10 minutes, I’ll look at a few photos and then I will never touch it again!” Which, of course, could never work.

For how long?

My goal is to stay disconnected as long as possible. For those of you wondering, the description of the blog [Live. Travel. Disconnect.] refers to the fact that we’re spending too much time online. Back on track, my account will be “dead” until I pass my finals, maybe with a short break during a trip I will be making soon.

What am I missing?

Plenty of photos which could be found online, stupid statuses informing me about First World Problems, pictures of insecure couples which have to show their love to everybody, friend requests from people I don’t know or I can’t stand, stalking my exes [which I wasn’t doing anyway, I was just INFORMING myself on how they are doing every now and then…*innocent*]. How much I care about all these?

ImageWhy should YOU give it up?

Do you find yourself in the situation described under “Why?” Then you should give it up. No excuses, no negotiating, no tears over no longer stalking your ex and posting selfies! If you don’t trust yourself enough to do it, ask a friend to change your password for you. You’ll get it back when you start acting like a human again.

Has my life become miraculously better all of a sudden?

Of course not. I’ve been feeling miserable ever since, as if someone cut off my right arm. I feel that something is missing, that my life is incomplete and that I no longer exist. Which is why I gave it up in the first place. Because I wanted and needed my life back. Because I want to be able to control myself, and this means no addictions [books are the only exception].

I would be amazed to know someone has actually took the time to read all this. Happy blogging, unplug, disconnect.

 

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Once upon a time, on a platform far away…

I’m not good at starting things, so this post will rather suck. I find it very hard to be writing once again, after what seemed to be a long break from my literary work and an end to my blogging days. I’ve been blogging since 2009, written over 500 articles, and I am ready to bet that I complained in at least 450.

However, growing up is a different process for everybody, myself included. I have therefore decided to give up my previous blog, the one which bears the prints of my growing up, as well as the negative attitude and plenty of things that no longer say anything about me.

I intended this to be a short post, but I find myself unable to say anything relevant. I have no doubts that some of my former readers will follow me here as well, so I feel the need to clarify something: I have made the decision of writing in English only. Not only because I am now writing for people worldwide, but also due to the fact that I will be moving to UK in a few months. I am therefore sorry for my possible grammar mistakes and lack of fluency, I will try to do my best though.

I wish you all happy blogging, and rest assured: “hater” Mary is not gone altogether! 🙂

[I am also inserting the only pretty picture of myself I could find.]

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